Arkady & Boris Strugatsky Noon 22nd Century (v1.0)

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Sheila, sweetling! Sheila, dearest! May I order a machine like that? It s not
going to hurt anybody! And then we wouldn t be forced to go anywhere in the
evenings.
Have it your way, Sheila said briefly. But we re still having supper in the
restaurant today.
They left Evgeny following her docilely.
Early in the morning, Evgeny Slavin was awakened by the snorting of a
heavy-duty helicopter. He jumped out of bed and ran to the window. He was just
in time to see a dark blue helicopter fusilage with HOME DELIVERY printed on
it in large white letters. The helicopter passed over the garden and
disappeared behind the treetops, which were sparkling with dew and full of the
chatter of birds. A large yellow box stood on the garden path by the porch. An
emerald-green gardener robot stomped uncertainly around the box on its
L-shaped legs.
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I ll get you, waste-disposer! yelled Evgeny, and he started climbing through
the window. Sheila! Sheila dear! It s come!
The gardener robot dashed off into the bushes. Evgeny ran up
CORNUCOPIA * IO5
to the box and walked all the way around it without touching it.
It s here! he said, deeply moved. Great lads, Home Delivery. Krasnoyarsk,
he read off the side of the box. It s here.
Sheila came out onto the porch, wrapping her bathrobe round her. What a
wonderful morning! she said, yawning sweetly. What are you making so much
noise for? You ll wake up Yurii.
Evgeny looked toward the garden, where, behind the trees, he could see the
white walls of Yurii s cottage. Something over there suddenly gave a crash,
and they heard indistinct exclamations. He s awake already, said Evgeny.
Give me a hand, Sheila, eh?
Sheila came down from the porch. What s that? she asked. Near the box lay a
large paper bag with a colorful label with pictures of various foods.
That? Evgeny stared absently at the colorful label. That must be the raw
ingredients and the semiprepared foods.
Sheila said with a sigh, Well, okay. Let s pick up your toy.
The box was light, and they dragged it inside without difficulty. Only at this
point did Evgeny realize that the cottage did not have a kitchen. What do I do
now? he thought.
Well, what are we going to do with it? asked Sheila.
By dint of superhuman mental effort Evgeny instantly pounced upon the
necessary solution. Into the bathroom with it, he said lightly. Where
else?
They put the box in the bathroom, and Evgeny ran back for the bag. When he
returned, Sheila was doing her exercises. Evgeny started singing off key,
Monday roast beef, Tuesday string beans ... and tore the side off the box.
The Krasnoyarsk, Model UKM-207, looked very inspiring. Much more inspiring
than Evgeny had expected.
Well? asked Sheila,
Now we ll get down to it, Evgeny said briskly. I ll fix you a meal right
off.
I d advise you to call for an instructor.
Nonsense. I ll figure this machine out myself. After all, it said simple to
operate.
The machine, enclosed in a smooth plastic housing, sparkled proudly amid piles
of crumpled paper.
It s all very simple, declared Evgeny. Here are four buttons. It s
perfectly clear that they correspond to the soup course, the main course, the
dessert course, and ....
... the after-dessert course, Sheila put in helpfully.
Exactly, the after-dessert course, Evgeny affirmed. Tea, for instance. Or
cocoa.
He squatted down and opened a lid that said Control System.
It s spaghetti inside, he muttered, spaghetti. God help us if it ever
breaks down. He stood up. Now I know what the fourth button is for slicing
bread.
An interesting conclusion, Sheila said thoughtfully. Did it occur to you
that the four buttons might correspond to the four elements of Empedocles?
Earth, air, fire, and water.
Evgeny smiled reluctantly.
Or the four arithmetic operations, Sheila added.
All right, Evgeny said, and started unloading the bag. Talk is talk, but I
want goulash. You still don t know how I cook goulash, Sheila. Here s the
meat, here s the potatoes ... right ... parsley ... onion ... I want goulash!
Followed by cybernetic dishwashing! So the grease on the dishes turns into air
and sunlight!
Sheila went into the living room and brought back a chair. Evgeny, holding a
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piece of meat in one hand and four large potatoes in the other, was standing
indecisively in front of the machine. Sheila put the chair beside the
washbasin, and sat down comfortably.
Addressing no one in particular, Evgeny said, I would be much obliged if
somebody would tell me where the raw food goes in.
Sheila said, I saw a cyberkitchen two years ago. It wasn t at all like this
one, but I remember it had a sort of opening for the raw food on the right.
I thought so! Evgeny shouted happily. There are two openings here. So the
one on the right is for raw food, and the one on the left is for cooked
dinners.
Evgeny, dear, said Sheila, you know, we should really go to a restaurant.
He did not answer. He put the meat and potatoes into the opening on the right,
and set off, cord in hand, for the wall socket. Turn it on, he said from a
distance.
How? said Sheila.
CORNUCOPIA " IO7
Push the button.
Which one?
The second, dear. I m making goulash.
We should go to a restaurant, Sheila repeated, getting up reluctantly.
The machine responded to the push of the button with a muffled roar. A white
light on its front panel went on, and Sheila, looking into the opening at the
right, saw that there was nothing there. It seems to have taken the meat,
she said with surprise. This was more than she had expected.
There, you see! said Evgeny proudly. He stood up and admired his machine,
listening to it hum and click. Then the white light went out and a red one
came on. The machine stopped humming.
That s it, Sheila my sweet, Evgeny said with a wink. He bent down and got
the dishes out of the bag. They were light and shiny. He took two, put them in
the opening on the left, then stepped back a step and and folded his arms
across his chest. He and Sheila were silent for a minute.
Finally Sheila, shifting her eyes in puzzlement from Evgeny to the machine and
back, asked, Just what exactly are you waiting for?
Uncertainty appeared in Evgeny s eyes. If the goulash were ready, he realized,
it should have appeared in the opening on the left whether or not there were
dishes there. He stuck his head into the opening on the left and saw that the
dishes were still empty.
Where s the goulash? he asked distractedly. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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